January 2010
12 posts
Okay, even Martha Stewart is pole dancing now. →
WatchI’m probably not going to blog for a minute. No offense, I’m just really busy. I have to train my morel eels for my underwater act. (video via Arthur Ignatowski)
My New Pink Scam →
Rad, looks like that vagina dye the whole internet has been talking about is basically just Kool-Aid.
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Here's how my brain works.
I just read something that I wrote in a notebook in 2006. It’s about air licking. If you are not familiar with this phenomenon, I feel bad being the one to tell you that it exists in the world. It’s something that men do, pretty commonly, while receiving private dances. Men of all ages, races, creeds and walks of life do it. They will waggle their tongues at you, and it’s both revolting and...
Top 10 Qualities in a Partner
I really like making lists, so I decided to participate in making a top ten qualities in a partner list last summer. (Did that sound like I was offering a feeble excuse for getting too involved on a message board? That would be true.) Those were my ten must-haves, my top ten qualities in the world, out of all the “qualities” I could have picked. Those criteria were somehow more important than...
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Creepy Neighbor
I used to have a creepy neighbor, who, out of all the creepy neighbors I’ve ever had earned the title of simply, Creepy Neighbor. Winning this title is a quite a feat because I used to live in a junkie apartment building, literally. If I wanted some heroin, I could have just walked upstairs and asked for some (and you know, paid for it, it’s not like it grows on trees). On my floor there, was...
Auditions
When women who have never stripped a day in their lives audition for the first time, it’s never good. There are basically two kinds of first-time auditions, those who forgot to practice at all and those who are overly prepared. You can tell who just showed up without preparation and prayed that things would fall into place in front of an audience (what I did). You can tell the ones who have...