So a stripper, an exotic dancer, an entertainer, a nude performance artist and an ecdysiast all walk into a bar… and the bartender only mixes one drink BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME THING PEOPLE!
Personally, I usually stick with the word “stripper”, because it causes the least amount of confusion. You don’t want to tell people that you meet for the first time in new social settings that you are a “dancer” because they are not going to assume that means that you take your clothes off for money. They are going to ask if you do ballet or modern dance and it will be awkward. So I save myself some trouble and tell, say, prospective landlords that I am a stripper so we both don’t have to go through that.
It seems that some people consider “stripper” to be a derogatory term. For example, an exasperated woman would probably be most likely to say, “That stripper bitch stole my boyfriend!” not “That nude performer stole my boyfriend.”
Now if you were like, “That ecdysiast stole my boyfriend!” the person you were telling this to wouldn’t even know what to say. Does that mean he left you for a gay man? Did you just say lackadaisy? Huh? If you were to say, “That burlesque dancer stole my boyfriend!” I would have to assume that he ditched you for a fat chick. Oh god, please don’t send me hate mail now— I’m kidding.
I don’t care what anyone else wants to call herself. “Clothing removal specialist”? Right on. Just don’t try to insist that you aren’t a stripper because you work at a trendy club with a bunch of stripsters and have themed sets. Are you still doing private dances? Thought so.
In closing, when I brought this up to my best friend, she said, “Dancers draw arbitrary lines all the time. Why is O.K. to touch your clitoris on stage and but not to bang yourself?” Exactly.